About this blog

The reason why I started this blog was to put down in words everything I’ve learnt about dating and relationships. So that guys can read it.

Over the years I’ve read many books. Listened to friends, experts, and a life coach or two. Much of the advice was bad, but the worst ones were those I put into practice–I wonder how I could have survived the resulting embarassment.

But survive I did. What little I know now, I learned by experience, and I want to put this hard-fought knowledge in a place where people–guys–can be helped.

The other reason for this blog is that I’ve started coaching a friend on dating. She comes to me with such stories so painful and hilarious, I know she couldn’t have made the shit up. I’ve just got to put them out here for you guys to read, and learn. (Girls, you can read too. Read, weep and LOL.)

Readers’ note:

One thing readers should note is the social/cultural context I’m writing this in.  I read and write in English (obviously). I live in Singapore, a big, Asian cosmopolitan city where, like in most Anglophone cities, much of the dating advice accessible is written for a North American audience. The unfortunate thing is, though almost everyone here reads English, it doesn’t mean everyone understands the advice, and it doesn’t mean the advice can actually be used on women here.

Also, men and women in Singapore adhere to a much more diverse range of gender archetypes and dating paradigms than, say, a typical guy would encounter in an American city. To help readers closer to me, I write advice to address a specific set of dating and relationship problems. Keep that in mind, especially if you don’t live in Asia.

This blog is focused on the relationship problems faced by older working adults, i.e. men in their late-twenties and above. Men who lack dating experience at this age face problems quite different from that offered in the mainstream press. Men’s Health-type advice, like “Why Women Love Guys Who Dance” are too far removed from the social realities of older, inexperienced men to be of much help. Social anxieties are likely a more common challenge for this group of men. I hope this blog will make a meaningful contribution to the growing pool of resources devoted to helping such readers.

Having said all that, check out yet another disclaimer:


This blog is intended to provide educational information related to lifestyle and dating. The information I give is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice. It is intended only as practical advice that you can apply in your day-to-day life. You are 100% responsible for what you do (or don’t do) with this information. I claim no responsibility for any consequences that may result from the use or misuse of this information.

If you need expert medical or psychiatric assistance, please seek the services of a trained professional.

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